Judges

So its common knowledge that when it comes to teasing in my house, no one is exempt. Now often, when someone does something stupid like falling UP the stairs (something I seem to be able to do at least once a day) we usually say, "Don't judge me!" As if that would make a difference.

Now, this quote has happened a lot after it was used the first time. I actually don't remember what I had done to get this quote but regardless I had likely tripped, or had ranted on and on about something to which mom was frankly laughing at me. Of course I respond, "Don't judge me!" To which my mother replied, still laughing. "I'm not judging you! I'm just laughing at you!"

And so that is my Quote of the Day.

Winter

Taken very early in the morning after a small storm

So this is going to combine two Quotes of the Day into one because they are so similar though, they were said on different days. Its finally beginning to warm up here (Warming up meaning 50 degrees) but back in January we had a day when we were warned not to stay out very long because it was so cold that frost bite was a very big possibility. Even running from the house to the car was just awful! After one such quick run mom came in and exclaimed, "You know its cold when snot freezes!"

A day or two later, the winter warnings were off but it was still very cold outside. Mom got home from work and taking off her coat sighed. "It's so cold outside I thought I'd frozen my ass off," She said, "But then I get home and I realized it was all still there."

Unfortunately for us, when its that cold, our bodies are trying to get as much fat stored up as it can. Something that greatly annoys us all. And so that is my Quote of the Day.

Biology

So my sister was freaking out over her Biology midterm. I know next to nothing on the subject even though I took the exact same class so I was useless to her. Mom, however is very smart when it comes to anything math or science-y. I was leaving it to them until I started listening in on the little study session they were having at the table. Kay couldn't remember if platyhelminthes reproduced asexually or sexually. (Its asexually) To help Kay remember my mom suggested a fantastic why to NEVER forget it. 


"Alright, just think. Next time someone really makes you mad you can just say, 'Why don't you go make like a platyhelminthes and f*ck yourself.'" 


I laughed until I cried. And so that is Quote of the Day. 

Crime Tape

Mom and I were driving home the other day and I can't remember all we were talking about but at some point I had said something about wrapping someone's car up in plastic wrap because I didn't like them. It brought on a conversation about different pranks to play on people.

Several hours later we were in the kitchen and randomly mom says, "I'm going to wrap your car in crime tape......just because it seems the thing to do." Now, at this point I had forgotten about our earlier conversation which lead to silence but these kind of comments are pretty normal so I just went with it.

Sorry

I'm sorry I've fallen so behind on this blog. School kept me very busy after Christmas, then midterms, and I now have a broken arm which means I can only type with one hand which it one big pain in the ass. I have kept track of the Quotes of the Day from mom and I have 5 or 6 to post as soon as I get my arm out of the cast. I haven't forgotten this and I hope to post again soon! :)

Christmas Tradition

For Christmas dinner we had my uncle over. Sometime during the night the conversation turned to video games and our favorites for the Xbox. We discussed Halo and Call of Duty and Guitar Hero and finally started talking about Left 4 Dead. For those of you who don't know, Left 4 Dead is a first person shooter game that follows four survivors of the zombie apocalypse. You have to shoot your way through several levels to get to a safe house.

Anyway, my uncle said that he had never played it before and I excitedly told him we had to play before he left. Mom, not saying anything up until this point looked up and said, "Maybe after Christmas dinner we can kill things."

I don't know about everyone else but I will happily make killing zombies a part of my Christmas tradition. And so that is my Quote of the Day.  

Holiday Weight Gain

Other women hate my mom because no matter how much junk food she eats she never seems to gain any weight. After getting a HUGE order of chili cheese fries at Tommy Burger, she passed a few guys waiting in line. One turned to the other and said, "I wish my wife could eat like that and look like her." The whole weight gain thing has become a big joke in the family.

Mom, dad and I went out to get donuts. (Odd how my last few stories about been about going to a donut shop) After getting a dozen donuts to share between the three of us mom made sure that she claimed all of the cream filled ones. I made a little side comment about how I couldn't believe that either of us wasn't 500 pounds because of all the junk we eat. Looking back at me, donut in hand she said, "What?? I haven't gained a single pound this holiday season! I have to catch up with the rest of America."

And so that is my Quote of the Day